James Marsden: Love is more than burning loins

James Marsden is becoming increasingly realistic about love.

The 41-year-old star has kids Jack and Mary with his ex-wife Mary Elizabeth Linde and son William with former girlfriend Rose Costa.

Having been through heartbreak, the star has taken his rose-tinted glasses off and doesn't believe in the notion of love at first sight.

"No, my idea of love is more than just a stirring in the loins or lustful fantasies when I see an attractive person," he revealed to German magazine Jolie. "I need something deeper because when I fall in love with a woman, I want to be able to share my most intimate moments with her.

"The older I get, the more realistic I am about love. It always makes me smile when I hear an 18-year-old songwriter sing about heartache. What does he know?"

James believes people need to go through the "full programme" of emotions before they can understand love. He cites failed relationships, leaving someone and being left as some of the most important milestones.

The star also believes relationships where both people have known love are stronger because each party has a greater understanding of love.

He's played the romantic lead in films such as 27 Dresses and The Best of Me, but in real life he's wary of sappiness.

"I do have a romantic side but I don't like anything soppy," he said. "I'm a very profound and a very realistic person. I know love might not last forever. That's why I avoid slushy vows of eternal love."