The Ambulance

THE AMBULANCE is one of those ‘hybrid’ movies which are composed of various elements: black comedy, conspiracy, satire, mystery and a heck load of action. Above all, the film is one of those vehicles (no pun intended) perfect for a Friday night in - with its plot to be taken with a pinch of salt. Eric Roberts excels in his role as an aspiring New Yorker comic book artist whose crush on a pretty woman almost costs him his sanity…

We’re first introduced to Josh Baker (E. Roberts), an aspiring and gifted comic book artist, when he walks along the streets of New York with a colleague. Minutes later he spots an attractive looking woman (Janine Turner) walking along the same street and decides here and there that she is his ‘dream woman’ (what, purely based on her looks?). And so he follows her and tries to chat her up in a style which is a mixture of charm, persistence and annoying attitude. Nowadays, it would be called ‘sexual harassment’ but back in 1990, when the film was made, things were different. Partly irritated, partly amused (perhaps a little bit flattered as well), the woman walks on and makes it clear she has no time for him (there is a good reason for it but we won’t spoil things here). Josh, unfazed, even buys her a little present from a street vendor (which breaks down within minutes) when suddenly, Cheryl collapses - as it turns out, she’s diabetic. From the other side of the street, a man sitting in a dark van, observes the scenario with his binoculars. Suddenly and within no time, an ambulance arrives and the woman is lifted onto a stretcher. In his shock over what has just happened, Josh fails to observe that there’s something odd about the ambulance, namely that it’s a vintage model. He just about manages to extract the woman’s first name - Cheryl - from her, but before she can tell me her second name the ambulance door shuts and drives off, with the ambulance driver uttering the name of a hospital.

We already know from his behaviour that Josh won’t give up and sure enough, when he arrives at said hospital in the hope of comforting the ‘woman of his dreams’ (with a bouquet of flowers in his hand) he is gobsmacked when the receptionist explains that no one with the name of Cheryl and fitting her description has been admitted. It’s the same story when Josh checks various other hospitals. Baffled by it all, he manages to trace Cheryl’s roommate and after initially pretending that Cheryl must be back home by now, things take a different turn when the roommate takes Josh to a place where Cheryl might be… While sneaking into the building’s gates, an ambulance (yes, the same ambulance) crashes through and kidnaps Cheryl’s flatmate… Josh, now realising that some sinister forces must be at work (probably the same sinister forces responsible for his ludicrous mullet hairstyle…) and makes his way to the local police department, where sceptical and seriously grumpy Lt. Frank Spencer (James Earl Jones) hears him out but correctly points out that looking for Cheryl is akin to looking for a needle in the haystack, because Josh doesn’t even know her second name.

Meanwhile, in a different part of town, we are in a hospital alright but it’s not an official hospital. Cheryl lies strapped to a bed and a surgeon (it’s the same man who observed her from his van when she collapsed on the street) reveals to her his very sinister plans. He’s only ever referred to as ‘The Doctor’ (an evil Eric Braeden) and is the ringleader of a ruthless gang of human traffickers who kidnap diabetics in order to carry out guinea pig-style experiments on them. Back at his workplace, Josh’s boss (watch out for Stan Lee in a cameo appearance as a Marvel Comics editor) gives him a hard time over his obsession with Cheryl, as drawings of her tend to creep up on every page Josh draws. Adamant to get to the bottom of Cheryl’s disappearance and with Lt. Spencer reluctantly agreeing to help, Josh gets into ever more trouble when ‘The Doctor’s’ ambulance drivers are now after him and beat him up. Josh escapes but is now a patient in a hospital (an official hospital) where he makes the acquaintance of a fellow patient, a retired journalist called Elias Zacharai (Red Buttons) who’s not only interested in Josh’s story straight away but claims he felt healthier before he was admitted to hospital for various ailments. The due escape from their ward audaciously and from then on, the action follows thick and fast, with Josh supported by feisty NYPD officer Sandra Malloy (Megan Gallagher), who happens to be extremely attractive as well. Watch out for Officer Malloy literally bringing an entire nightclub down! Will there be a happy ending for our wannabe Romeo? Well, you just have to watch this completely OTT film, which in any case doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Eric Roberts hams it up and has his tongue firmly in his cheek - he’s almost in every scene and carries the film effortlessly. Janine Turner (Northern Exposure / Cliffhanger) is somewhat underused, as her screen appearance is reduced to beginning and end, while James Earl Jones is great fun as the grumpy police head honcho, literally the opposite of no-nonsense ‘kick-ass babe’ Megan Gallagher. Kudos also to director Larry Cohen of course.

THE AMBULANCE has just been released on Blu-ray and this Limited Edition release is presented in the usual O-card slipcase complete with collector’s booklet. Bonus material includes new audio commentary, archival audio commentary, video essay, trailer and more.