Convenience

Ray Panthaki (28 Days Later, Kidulthood) and Adeel Akhtar (Four Lions, Utopia) play childhood friends Ajay and Shaan, who need to raise money quickly after Shaan inexplicably owes £8000 to some Russian gangsters after accidentally hanging around a strip club. After this paper-thin set up the pair, without any discussion or plan, hold up a petrol station where Levi, played by the wonderful Vicky McClure (This Is England), works at the checkout. At first she believes they are new starters performing a trial shift but once she finds the rest of the staff bound and gagged in the back office she too is tied up as the inept robbers wait until 6am for the safe to open.

Aside from ripping off the plot from ancient Only Fools and Horses episode 'The Longest Night', the film has early comic promise but this soon evaporates as the script and plot fall apart. Cameo’s from Verne Troyer and Anthony Head must have been funnier written down because the actual performances are pretty pointless and in Troyer’s case, the joke is that he is a dwarf dressed like a cowboy with a big car and because Shaan is (again, inexplicably) scared of babies and hilariously or not, Troyer looks like a baby. Anthony Head’s suicidal customer doesn’t fare much better either. The only saving grace in this cinematic waste of time is Vicky McClure whose acting chops are far superior to this dreary role in which she tries her best to salvage something from a confused and unfunny script.

This Bafta Cymru winning film is woeful in many ways but as a rare British production it should be credited for it’s fast pace and it’s occasional humorous parts. The posh stoner characters raised a smile and McClure’s early scenes with the store manager were realistically reminiscent of every crap job you’ve ever had. This soon unravels however, when late in the film for no reason at all we discover that the store manager is actually her Father who has been hiding letters from her never-mentioned-runaway-mother so he can keep her working in the shop. This comes out of the blue and it is this confusion of mood that hammers the final nail in the coffin of this dire film. The likeable buddy movie vibe at the start soon descends into an inane bromance where the two leads hug it out over past childhood disputes, which are never explained and seem tacked on at best.

Being a big fan of both McClure and Akhtar it is disappointing to see them act in such dross but at least McClure plays her limiting role to perfection whilst Akhtar plays a very annoying idiot, a sort of Forrest Gump type figure who everyone seems to be endeared to for his constant misunderstandings and contrived dumbness. Comedies always stretch the boundaries of believability but the clunky plot devices shown here are incredulous to the point of distraction. There is a final plus point in the amusingly staged stand off that concludes this irritating 88 minutes but by then it is too late to care about anyone involved. Convenience may have worked better as a TV show and might just be passable as late night after-pub viewing but the inconvenient truth is this is definitely one to miss.