The Expendables

I grew up watching Rambo, Die Hard, Commando, Universal Soldier, I wanted to be Stallone, Willis, Schwarzenegger and Lundgren, I thought that these films were the coolest thing around and their stars were real leading men. Why couldn't my dad be like them?

Fast forward to the present day, and action movies now have a brain, films like Inception and The Dark Knight with their adult themes and mournful leading characters have clearly made Stallone yearn for the good old days. He dipped his toes in the water with the Rambo reboot before really going the whole hog and rounding up all the dependable troops from the 80's to star in this Dirty Dozen-esque blockbuster.

The first thing to say is that all the names are there, Stallone himself, Lundgren, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts and even Willis and Schwarzenegger popping in amusing cameos (the best gag of the film being aimed at The Governator). Added to this roster is today's hero, the young blood, our very own Jason Statham, and its testament to him that he blends in seamlessly among these historic names. Together they are of course, The Expendables, a crack team of soldiers for hire. Like the A-Team but meaner and badder. And probably more expensive.

There is some nonsense plot about a South American dictator that must be overthrown, but people watching this film aren't doing so for an intricate plot that meanders and keeps you guessing. We are here to things blown up and people shot. And boy do we get it. By the truck load. The action itself is fantastic, and wonderfully over the top, a notable scene involving Statham sat the front of the plane gunning down a pier full of enemies. Very impressive and superbly executed. The violence is exaggerated and bloody, limbs flying everywhere, decapitations aplenty, blood covering the screen. Just as you'd expect and then some.

So the cast is there, the action is there......what's the problem then I hear you ask? Well it just isn't as much fun as it should be. The wisecracks don't work as they should, you know who is going to survive....it all just feels a bit stupid and juvenile, and, if truth be told, a little boring.

The truth is, I don't think that it's the films fault, it does what it sets out to do, and it does it well. I just think that the cinematic landscape has changed, we expect more, we want more, we aren't 12 year old boys anymore. It may be that today's teenagers will love this film, and I hope they do, but, and it may be a sad sign that I'm getting older, I need a little bit more nowadays....Where's my copy of Inception?