Amanda Bynes announced her retirement from acting after filming Hall Pass because chewing attention deficit hyperactivity disorder drug Adderall made her look awful on screen.
The 32 year old is launching an acting comeback after several years of drug-based legal woes and she tells Paper magazine one low point came while she was making the 2011 movie.
She tells the magazine she had dabbled with marijuana and ecstasy and tried cocaine "three times", but it was Adderall that really freaked her out.
"When I was doing Hall Pass, I remember being in the trailer and I used to chew the Adderall tablets because I thought they made me (more) high (that way)...," Amanda says. "(I remember) seeing my image on the screen and literally tripping out and thinking my arm looked so fat because it was in the foreground or whatever and I remember rushing off set and thinking, 'Oh my God, I look so bad'.
"I saw it (Hall Pass) and I was convinced that I should never be on camera again and I officially retired on Twitter, which was, you know, also stupid."
Bynes became a tragic figure at the height of her drug-related meltdowns and often made it into the tabloids for all the wrong reasons, and she is still coming to terms with all the things she said and did.
"I’m really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said," she tells Paper. "I can’t turn back time but if I could, I would. And I’m so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad. Everything I worked my whole life to achieve, I kind of ruined it all through Twitter... It’s definitely not Twitter’s fault - it’s my own fault."
But she's determined to win back her friends and fans, adding, "I actually am a nice person. I would never feel, say or do any of the things that I did and said to the people I hurt on Twitter."
