Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

Since Michael Bay first picked up a grenade as a small child and launched it at his cat, he's been instilled with a passion for high octane films and blowing things up in slow motion.

I'll probably have to state for legal reasons that the previous sentence was a complete fabrication of my puerile, daydreaming semi-conscience. Michael Bay probably doesn't even have a passion for blowing things up, maybe just a healthy interest. But one thing is for certain, if you were a fan of the last Transformers flick (and by fan I mean someone who fits into the following criteria: prepubescent/ adolescent male howling the words "awesome!" or "cool" through a mouthful of half eaten popcorn), then you certainly won't be disappointed at Bay's latest robotic escapade.

To be fair, being able to carry off such a technically ambitious, budget busting sequel was quite a feat; you can't even notice all the cost cutting they did as a result of the recession! In fact, the budget for Transformers 2 was about $50 million more than the first Transformers film. And you can tell! The graphics are simply mind blowing and the pyrotechnics are bigger and better than before, we're talking destruction on the scale of whole cities AND the pyramids of Egypt. Take that, 28 Days Later!

However, such an impressive array of effects only seems to alienate the viewer from what semblance of plotline there is left to squeeze in between the ear drum-tearing explosions and Megan Fox's ample chest.

Our main (human) character Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), is now all grow'd up and stuff and is set to leave for college, but during his pre-college pack, he finds a shard of the cube which was destroyed in the last film, yeah? And the decepticons discover its existence and plot to take the shard to reactivate Magatron and stuff, but he's like, still lying at the bottom of the sea and now starting to look proper manky, covered in seaweed and all that sea stuff!

Optimus Prime and his band of Autobots are now working together with the humans for a secret task force called NEST and are duty bound to destroy any remaining decepticons still hiding out on Earth. There are a whole new fleet of newcomers to the team including most notably twin robots Skid and Mudflap who act as a bit of comic relief (if a little tired and racially stereotyped).

Giving away any more than that would probably start ruining the plot, though I'm sure if I even started trying to explain it, I'd confuse you and myself even more.

The soundtrack has been overseen, as I'm sure you'll be glad to know, by Linkin Park who have had the score set around the melody of their new song "New Divide" as well as a mix of other Nu Metal/ American rock bands. It certainly doesn't sit very well with me as far as setting the mood is concerned, though I'm sure it's quite apt for all the "ass whooping" and "kick-ass" blowy up scenes. I wouldn't know, I became so blurry eyed after the first half hour that I became "that guy" and started pointing out continuity errors instead (and there were plenty! Drop me a mail if you want a list!).

Overall then, superb effects and if seen on a nice big screen would be worth the sensory experience just for that alone, but if you're looking for an immersive plotline and something that doesn't seem like one big advert for the US army, then quite frankly, you deserve over two hours of disappointment for even thinking you would! Shame on you!