Bloodrayne: The Third Reich

Several facts are not in this film’s favour; it is a straight to DVD release, it is based on a vampire video game and it has a plot based around a scantily clad female vampire slaying Nazis in 1943. So far, not so good. But don’t be confused, this film IS terrible. The plot and the random sexual acts our lead character gets involved in, should be funny but sadly there is no humour at all. In fact, the mood is never lifted from the moment we are shown a train full of prisoners being taken to a concentration camp.

Those prisoners are then saved by Rayne and her mighty head chopping swords, alongside a group of renegades. But this achievement is slightly spoiled by their disappointment that there are people on the train and not weapons. Still they force themselves to take them to safety, although that sub-plot is overshadowed by the entrance of a nasty Nazi general who survives having a spike put through him after being splattered with Rayne’s blood!

What follows is the chase for Rayne’s DNA essentially – which is to be used to make Hitler immortal and even more powerful. Leading this pursuit is the most hilariously over the top and bonkers Nazi scientist, whose cartoon-like creation features acting that would shame the worst am-dram wannabe.

In amongst the lesbian sex scene (together with marvellous porn piano music), and all the splirting blood, there isn’t a logical or creatively noteworthy moment. Director Uwe Boll has apparently filmed a spoof version of the film at the same time, which makes you wonder why he bothered with a 'serious' version. The spoof certainly can’t be as bad.