Baphomet

This could either be a work of playful genius in the way that the late Les Dawson (a British comedian) was a gifted pianist who for one of his skits played the piano deliberately off key though the tune was clearly recognisable. I’m told this is a difficult thing to master. Or Baphomet is a truly inept piece of film-making.

Opening with a blood sacrifice with leader Aksel (Stephen Brodie) calling on Satan (though his pronunciation is sounds like Saturn) and performing a blood sacrifice we move quite swiftly to him offering to buy the land off The Richardson family.

Father Jacob (Colin Ward) wants nothing of it and with his son Mark (Matthan Harris) and pregnant wife Rebecca (Rebecca Weaver) has other things on his mind despite it being a good offer.

Aksel not taking no for an answer conjures up horrible stuff against family and friends and eventually turns up again this time with his followers; comically all lined up behind him. The family now properly shaken call on the expertise of Lon Carlson (Dani Filth) who works out the problem and, reluctantly, sets up a meeting with a white witch Marybeth (Charlotte Bjornbak). Together they set about finding out what the Satanists want with the land, and stopping them.

Baphomet is not a very good film and more problematically not that entertaining either. And there was potential as it smashes witchcraft and Satanism together with ghosts and a bonkers satanic shark attack, oh yes. There’s an innocent banality about the whole thing which could endear it to some though more likely leave the watcher open mouthed in wonder at what they are watching.

It’s not that it doesn’t make sense it just comes over as really dumb especially as it gets towards the end which is difficult to believe that it was all writer and director Matthan Harris could think of. This is genuinely disappointing from Harris who has plenty of experience writing and has been involved in all aspects of film production for a while.

I got the feeling that all this must have had some effect on the cast who were either in on the joke and playing it straight, or utterly bewildered by it all. As such there’s a Leslie Nielson/Frank Drebin archness about much of it. If you can meet it on this level you may get something out of it. On a technical level that sort of acting takes some skill, and fits with the overall Les Dawson performance analogy.

Its nicely shot and there’s enough blood and guts and nonsense to possibly get this an after midnight crowd and at 72 minutes isn’t padded and doesn’t overstay its welcome.

Baphomet will be available on digital platforms and Blu-ray/DVD from 8 June.