The Coffee Table

You know that any movie beginning with the opening credits juxtaposed against an Ikea-style self-assembly instruction manual is, in all likelihood, not your average fare and this is certainly true in the case of THE COFFEE TABLE, a truly harrowing tale of a couple whose life is shattered due to unexpected events caused by a piece of faulty furniture.

God knows why this 2022 film, directed and co-written by Caye Casas, is described as a ‘black comedy’. It’s certainly not! To be fair, it does have the odd humorous moment creeping up in the film’s first half but by and large, it is a movie about an unbelievable tragedy and it may well not be for everyone - certainly not for those who are easily distressed. While initially rejected in its native Spain, the film gradually found praise and garnered numerous awards at film festivals in various other countries, not to mention getting endorsed by the likes of Stephen King.

Maria (Estefania de los Santos) and her husband Jesús are a couple in their early forties by the looks of it, so all the more joy for Maria that her biggest wish - becoming a mother - finally has become reality. Who knows, maybe the birth of their baby boy, whom they call Cayetano, will somehow help them through their fractured marriage. Together, and with baby in his pram, they visit a furniture store because Jesús insists on purchasing a new coffee table, or perhaps a new ‘second hand’ one. To Maria’s dismay, he opts for a retro kitsch number with gold-painted female figures for table legs and a glass pane for a top. In no time, the couple argue because not only does Maria take a dislike towards the slimy antiques dealer (Eduardo Antuna) but she makes no secret of the fact that in her opinion, the coffee table looks like an abomination and is in poor taste. Further arguments follow, with Jesús accusing Maria of being selfish as she had practically chosen all the other furniture in their apartment, so perhaps it would be only fair if he could choose one item? Angry, Maria storms out of the shop, pushing the pram in front of her, and leaves Jesús to it. Of course, he buys it and a little later, we can see him schlepping the big, rectangular box up the staircase to the apartment (by the looks of it, on the fifth or sixth floor if not higher).

While attempting to assemble the table, Jesús notices that a screw is missing, leaving the heavy glass pane which, according to the salesman, is unbreakable, in a wobbly state. Immediately, this causes another argument between the couple, with Maria bickering that he should never have purchased such ugly monstrosity to begin with. When Jesús calls the antique shop, the elderly salesman (who later turns out to be gay and has the hots for his customer) apologises:”Yes, designed in Sweden but made in China” and promises to deliver the replacement screw that very day. Meanwhile, Maria goes into town to get groceries as later that day, her husband’s brother Carlos (Josep Maria Riera) and his young girlfriend Cristina (Claudia Riera) will drop by for dinner though seeing how both are vegan, Maria reckons that getting the right groceries won’t be easy. She leaves little Cayetano in the care of Jesús while out shopping and he gets interrupted by Ruth (Gala Flores), the 13-year old daughter of their neighbour who has a crush on him and attempts to ‘blackmail’ him into running away with her, or else she will accuse him of Pedophilia on the grounds that he once sent her love poems (which he innocently did when she asked him to help her out with an essay of love poems for a school exam) and so forth. Ruth’s obsession with Jesús is an ongoing subplot throughout the film and provides the comic relief. While continuing to get the table together, Cayetano keeps crying and Jesús takes him in his arms and cradles him. We only see this from the distance of the hallway, with the camera depicting him walking up and down in the living room in the hope that his newborn son will stop crying. Suddenly, we hear the crash of glass and the baby’s cries are heard no more…. and we know straight away that something awful has just happened. So awful in fact, that the true tragedy is revealed only bit by bit. Yes, the apparently unbreakable glass pane is broken, the baby is dead, and Jesús is also bleeding from cuts on his arms. The next few minutes are almost unbearable to watch as he tries to digest what has just happened and in a state of shock, puts the remains of his son in his cradle in the children’s room, followed by borrowing bleach from his neighbour (which arouses the suspicion of Ruth) in the hope to remove the blood stains on the carpet, which of course doesn’t work.

When Maria returns from shopping, he doesn’t have the guts to reveal what has just happened, instead lying to her that little Cayetano is finally asleep in his cradle after having cried for so long and that he should not be disturbed. Showing her the wounds on his arm, he further lies that the blood stains on the carpet are from cuts, prompting further sarcastic remarks from Maria regarding the idiotic coffee table, which didn’t even last one day before it broke to pieces. When Jesús’ brother Carlos and his girlfriend Cristina arrive, everyone is perplexed as to why Jesús acts in such a strange manner, seems absentminded and not interested in participating in the conversation. In fact, he hardly eats anything and behaves even more erratically when Maria shows their guests the children’s room, without waking the baby. As the unbearable scenario continues, the question arises for how much longer Jesús can keep up the facade? Not for much longer, because when little pest Ruth rings the doorbell and boldly enters the couples’ flat as “she urgently needs to speak with Jesús” she has her pet dog in tow… who straight away starts sniffing around the living room and the blood-stained carpet but wait, what’s that under the arm chair…? At this point, those easily shocked and upset should look away because things will become even more harrowing (if that’s still possible), leading up to the devastating climax.

There’s little doubt that THE COFFEE TABLE is a deeply uncomfortable film to watch, perhaps even politically incorrect. At the same time, the cast is terrific and despite its obviously low budget (it was shot over only ten days) it is an unforgettable movie.

Now released on Blu-ray, it is also available as a Limited Edition Set in a rigid slipcase, a 120-page booklet and six art cards. Further bonus material (both Standard and Limited Edition) include audio commentaries, interviews, and two brilliant short films by the director (RIP and Nada S.A.).