Cold Storage

It’s hard to believe that this movie’s script is from the screenwriter of Jurassic Park, Spider-Man, the first Mission: Impossible and Death Becomes Her. Very little of the talent David Koepp demonstrated there is present in this warmed-over, gnarly splatter-thon that begs the (completely original) question: what if a mutated fungus caused people to become zombies? Bad news for Joe Keery and Georgina Campbell, doing their best to look terrified, and Liam Neeson, doing his best to look awake.

Beneath a newly built self storage business, an abandoned government facility houses a fungus that causes mild cases of exploding. As the deadly plant begins to escape, two late-shift workers (Keery and Campbell) have to hold off zombified intruders with increasingly strange (and disgusting) results. Enroute to help is Neeson’s government operative, who spends most of the film on the phone to them as well as his superiors, the military, or perhaps his agent, firing them for talking him into this film.

The production design and style is unengaging and flat, with harsh lighting that realistically mimics the emptiness of a self storage unit late at night, but kills any sense of mood. It’s a boring setting for an action film, and the filmmakers do very little to add character or depth to said location. The computer animation in particular is at times shockingly cheap, undercutting any potential tension (a montage involving an infected cockroach jumps to mind). The actors feel as though they’re looking at nothing, and very quickly it seems the audience is too.

There are flecks of humour throughout, whilst Keery and Campbell’s charming chemistry does most of the heavy lifting. Lesley Manville provides some bright spots as Neeson’s even more weathered coworker, showcasing a grounded wit the rest of the film is sorely lacking. Complemented by a truly terrible cover of ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’ over the end credits, you leave this film feeling as though a lot of people with great talent made all the wrong choices, and that we’re the ones who have to suffer. A messy film that very quickly gets out of control and creates an unpleasant situation for all involved. Hey, perhaps it was more immersive than I thought?